Owen Schmitt Is A Crazy Man

To best describe Owen Schmitt, he is five beers short of a six-pack. And knowing Schmitt, he probably drank them.

Owen Schmitt is a crazy man.

Just ask the equipment managers at West Virginia who consistently replaced Schmitt’s steel-reinforced facemasks. An unofficial count credits him with nearly a dozen broken facemasks, a direct result of punishing blocks and collisions on the field.

Ask his old college teammates, who jokingly used “Owen Schmitt” instead of “Chuck Norris” in popular comedic phrases. His passion on the field and energy in the gym were regular points of discussion in the locker room.

Or what about friends at West Virginia who witnessed Owen Schmitt devour a cardboard coaster in ten seconds? One can only imagine the coaster was soaked in beer – a delicious appetizer for a throw-back football player who usually feasts on opposing defenders. Beer-soaked cardboard should probably be a staple in more diets; particularly for those who block large NFL athletes for a living.

The “Runaway Beer Truck” – a nickname derived from his unique style of downhill running during a touchdown run against Oklahoma – has finally done something in the National Football League that has made fans across the country aware of his madness.

During pre-game introductions against Jacksonville, Schmitt felt it necessary to repeatedly smash his helmet against his head as he exited the tunnel. The resulting images showed Schmitt wandering the sidelines with blood pouring down his face; the helmet-smashing left a nice gash on his forehead that required stitches to close.

Schmitt still played in the game, but his blood-stained jersey was a reminder of his pre-game insanity. Schmitt happens, I suppose.

Perhaps the Seahawks should introduce the defense before next week’s game; defensive introductions should help prevent personal injury to Owen Schmitt and additional costs associated with replacing broken football helmets.