One of my favorite (and least favorite, depending on my mood) parts of the NFL Combine are the media interviews. Each player holds court to the media contingent for a few minutes, and answers some of the dumbest questions you can possibly imagine.
For example, asked to almost every player this week will be this question: What are you hoping to accomplish here?
Really? each player gets asked questions for a a maximum of 5 minutes, and you’re wasting everyone’s time with that question? How can anything that is said in response to that question be remotely interesting for for the readers of whatever periodical you work for?
If you actually don’t know what players are doing there in Indy, then perhaps you need to find a new career.
I know the excuses. There’s 330 players in Indianapolis this week, and most of the media members weren’t given time prep questions for more than a couple dozen. That makes sense. As does the explanation that someone is alwasy willing to asked these lame questions rather than have the player stand there for 5 minutes in an awkward silence.
Right, thats why guys like Manti Te’o will get asked the same dumb questions as everyone else. Nice try, but I’m not buying it.
This is also how I know I’d never get drafted (aside from the obvious lack of physical talent). Any of these extremely dumb questions would be met with a serious dose of sarcasm, leading to people to believe I have “character issue.” hmmm… Perhaps they’re right.
Just for fun, he are some of my favorite mind-numbingly dumb questions I heard during the media interviews a year ago, along with answers I’d most likely give if I were on the podium:
Q: What are you hoping to accomplish here? A: I’ve heard Indy has great coffee. I’m going to try and hit 15-20 coffee joints this week.
Q: Which team do you hope drafts you? A: Real Madrid. I’ve always wanted to see the sights in Spain.
Q: Tell me one thing you learned from your college coach that really stuck with you A: BBQ is about smoke. Most ppl Grill, not BBQ.
Q: What’s your favorite play? A: one that doesn’t end with me face down in the mud with 12 people sitting on my helmet.
Q: Do you feel your draft stock will improve after the combine? A: I just came for the free food.*
Q: What will you miss most about college life? A: The exams. I just drew on them and my profs always marked my drawings with C for “creative.”
Q: Do you have any concerns about <insert injury>? A: not really. Glad I didn’t have surgery. A scar would have killed my modeling career.
Q: you grew up as a Steelers fan. What would you do if the rival Ravens drafted you? A: Cash my paychecks with authority.
* This one is from Paul over at Seattle Sports Central