Jan 13, 2013; Atlanta, GA, USA; Seattle Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll reacts after losing the NFC divisional playoff game at the Georgia Dome. The Falcons won 30-28. Mandatory Credit: Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports
Just like that, it’s over. The Seahawks’ run for the Super Bowl snuffed out by a 49 yard field goal. It wasn’t bad enough that Seattle fans had to suffer through the incoherent diarrheic ramblings of the infinitely idiotic Brian Billick. They also had to suffer a soul sucking first half, amazing come back, and a late Tony Gonzalez catch over the middle to set up an Atlanta field goal. I’ll tell you right now, if you’re a glass-is-always-half-full type of person, you should probably just stop reading. Because, I’m not that type of person. Things like “bright futures” don’t make me feel better. They are hypothetical at best and no comfort in defeat right now.
I don’t know if I feel better having watched the Seahawks come back in an incredible second half after completely shitting the bed in the first half. Is a defeat like this which is ultimately due to the compounding of mistakes throughout the prior 59 and a half minutes better than losing in a blow out? I don’t know but right now I’m inclined to say I’d rather be blown out. It’s an arguable point but that’s how I feel.
Coming into this game, I believed if Seattle had to lose to anybody I prefer it be Atlanta. I was wrong. I’d prefer to lose to nobody and losing to anybody feels equally shitty. I can’t root for Altanta or Tony Gonzalez even though I like him as a human being. I don’t buy into the “if you have to lose, it might as well be to the eventual champion” school of thought.
I hate losing. I hate it with every ounce of my being. That doesn’t make me a “bad” loser or bad sport. Losing feels unnatural even though it’s happened countless times before. I refuse to accept it. Seattle could have won that game. They didn’t deserve to but they still could have. Going for it on fourth instead of taking a field goal looks terrible now. In the moment, it looked like Seattle needed a touchdown to stay in the game. It was wrong in hindsight but at the time I couldn’t argue with the decision. The defense could have decided to sack up and make a stop at any point in the first half. They didn’t.
Other people can focus on all the good things, both real and theoretical. Right now all I can do is focus on what was the ultimate outcome, defeat, and grieve. I hope Seattle is better next year. I hope that good things are on the horizon, but for whatever reason, that “bright future” is like an oasis in a desert that is only a mirage. It doesn’t exist until it’s real and then I can celebrate. Unfortunately, that isn’t today. Russell Wilson can look forward to next year. Other fans can look forward to next year. For me I have to go back to a normal every day life, where I don’t make millions of dollars, and devotedly defend my city and teams against the rest of the country. There is no joy in Mudville for me.