Week 3 Preview – Airplane!


Sep 15, 2013; Seattle, WA, USA; Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch (24) enters the field prior to the game against the San Francisco 49ers at CenturyLink Field. Seattle defeated San Francisco 29-3. Mandatory Credit: Steven Bisig-USA TODAY Sports

Have we all recovered?  Are everyone’s vocal cords back to their upright and locked position?  Everyone’s livers sufficiently detoxed after Sunday?  Good.  I think I speak for most when I say that to be a part of one of the great days in Seattle sports was something I’ll always remember.  However, we must keep in mind it’s one game (although one very important game since it’s in the division) and it’s time to move on to the next one.  Thankfully, the soft landing known as the Jacksonville Jaguars make their way cross-country to come into the lions den known as CenturyLink Field.  Let’s look back a little bit on Sunday night and get ready for this week with a preview through the 1980 classic, Airplane!

“I need the best man on this. Someone who knows that plane inside and out and won’t crack under pressure. How about Mister Rogers?”: Fred Rogers may have done a better job than Colin Kaepernick last Sunday.  How awesome was it to watch him turn into a complete puddle of goo when facing the Seahawks defense?  Even better was watching the river of human debris (a.k.a. Niners fans) walk dejectedly yet again out of the CLink.

“Joey, have you ever been in a… in a Turkish prison?”: Something tells me ol’ Douchebag Harbaugh Style would have preferred a Turkish prison to the torture he was put through on Sunday night.  Going back and watching the game again on Monday, that was obviously a man who had no clue what to do to get that team back on track.  It was a thing of beauty.  Mysteriously, he also did not show up for his scheduled radio interview with the San Francisco media on Tuesday.  The “rationale” given was that he only does that every other week (which would be different from every NFL head coach).  Sure Jimmy.

“Do you know what it’s like to fall in the mud and get kicked… in the head… with an iron boot? Of course you don’t, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that’s a dumb question… skip that.”: Now our old pal Gus Bradley brings his toothless tigers to Seattle and will have to endure the kicking in the head with the iron boot.  I really feel bad for Gus.  He got himself into a massive rebuilding project that he probably won’t get more than about two years to do before the owner gets impatient and fires him.

“It was a rough place – the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It’s worse than Detroit.”: Or the Jacksonville locker room.  Last week the Legion of Boom had Anquan Boldin and Vernon Davis to tangle with.  This week?  Cecil Shorts III and Mike Brown.  The first guy sounds like he belongs in an old Benson episode.  The other guy could possibly be either the owner of the Cincinnati Bengals or the old coach of the Cleveland Cavaliers.  In either case, you know the LOB is licking their chops at the prospect of facing these guys.

“Our only hope is to build this man up. We gotta give him all the confidence we can. Striker, have you ever flown a multi-engine plane before? No, never. [to McCroskey, with the microphone still on] Sh*t! This is a God damn waste of time! There’s no way he can land this plane!”: Poor Blaine Gabbert and Chad Henne.  Neither of them could land this plane called the Jaguars.  I’m envisioning their plane is like the “Indian Express” from Major League.  Now, while it’s still up in the air a little bit, it looks like Henne will get the nod while Gabbert “rehabs” the hand injury he’s got.  You know Gabbert was in the training room this week putting forth his best second grade performance about why he didn’t want to go to school.  There’s no way he wants any part of this Seahawks defense or the 12th Man.

“There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?”: Screw that, I’m alarmed!  Is there anyone else that can play left tackle? While hopefully the injury to Russell Okung is something that will only keep him out a few weeks, if it’s longer than that, it may be something that takes this Seahawk plane out of the sky.  After Wilson and maybe Lynch, Okung is probably the most valuable player on an offense that has struggled a bit the first two weeks.

Would you like something to read? Do you have anything light? How about this leaflet, “Famous Jewish Sports Legends?”: Or perhaps “Re-caps of Jaguar Wins”?  Ultimately, I think we all know what to expect from this game.  The Seahawk defense will have a field day against a vastly inferior Jags offense.  The Seahawks offense gets out of their rut against a mediocre Jag defense.  And we all frolic out of the CLink after a fairly easy victory.  What, you don’t frolic?  Oh, you’re missing out.

Seahawks 38, Jaguars 3