Monday Night Preview – Christmas Vacation


Nov 3, 2013; Seattle, WA, USA; Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman (25) is introduced before a game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at CenturyLink Field. Mandatory Credit: Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

Have we gone through all our leftovers yet?  Are you still trying to figure out a way to get rid of that last bit of cranberry sauce?  Has the leftover gravy turned into material you could use for a bulletproof vest?  A belated Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.  Hope you all enjoyed yourselves and didn’t consume too many adult beverages in order to get through the weekend, because we can’t be having hangovers affecting our performance tomorrow night.  After what has seemed like an eternity, the Hawks get back to business on Monday night as the 4-letter circus comes to town.  You know the ESPN executives feel like they’ve hit the lottery with this game so they might actually talk about it for half of their pre-game show.  But I digress.  We have a tradition with my friends and family.  Beginning on Thanksgiving Night, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation gets viewed early and often during the holiday season.  Let’s preview the game through the antics of the Griswold family.

“Clark, Audrey’s frozen from the waist down. That’s all part of the experience, honey.”: As our Vice President has advised us before, gird your loins tomorrow night because it’s going to be a little chilly.  The Weather Channel’s website is calling for temps in the low 30’s at kickoff with the potential for a little snow mixed in with rain showers.  I can’t imagine more perfect weather in which to welcome the Saints to Seattle.  Drew Brees is a less-than-impressive 2-6 when the kickoff temperature is below 40 degrees.

“Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I’d piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so.”: I’ve been trying to come up with explanations and reasoning for why we now have 2 more guys being suspended for drug violations and Cousin Eddie’s makes as much sense as any of them.  It’s hard to fully express my disappointment with both Browner and Thurmond right now.  When you’re facing suspension for violating the substance abuse policy, it’s not for a first time offense.  These guys have already messed up previously in some manner.  Ultimately, I believe it to be the height of selfishness and stupidity that hopefully this team can get past.  Both of these guys are free agents next year and you have to think they’ve cost themselves a pile of money with this latest brain fart.  However, I do believe one of the strengths of this Seahawk team is their mental toughness and their ability to have the next guy up perform at a high level.

“Don’t throw me down, Clark. I’ll try not to, Aunt Bethany…”: But now back to the game itself.  Drew Brees comes to town after having his jaw rearranged by the 49ers defensive line.  Yet another in a long line of flags that have just frustrated me to no end this year.  You can’t hit a QB in the head and I’m fine with that.  But hitting him in the chest and then having him dip his head to the point that you slide up into the jaw is not a penalty (or at least it shouldn’t be).  We’ve also seen that you can’t hit the QB in the ankles either.  It’s getting to the point that you can only hit a QB in the baseball strike zone and even then you’ll probably get a $15K fine for it. Aunt Bethany isn’t back there throwing the ball.  Most QB’s are pretty decent athletes and they can take a hit.

“You surprised to see us, Clark? Oh, Eddie… If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.”: I’ll freely admit, I didn’t think the Saints had any chance to be in the position they are right now.  Did you see that team last year?  That was the textbook definition of a dumpster fire.  I get that Sean Payton not being there really sent that team in a tailspin, but I didn’t think the guy meant nearly this much.  Do you remember that defense last year?  Even the 2008 Washington Huskies were embarassed by that defense.  A tip of the cap though is in order to Sean Payton because after last year’s debacle, the Saints really could have turned into a multi-year rebuilding project.

“What’s that sound? You hear it? It’s a funny squeaky sound. You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”: Warning! Potentially unpopular opinion coming! So, apparently we’re going to try and yet again break the Guinness world record for noise at a stadium tomorrow night.  I’m sorry, but I am absolutely done with this garbage.  It feels like a combination of a stupid junior high one-upsmanship contest and a way for irrelevant Seahawks alumni to keep their name in the media.  News flash people, we already know we have the best home field advantage in football.  The 12th Man has always prided themselves on creating the most hostile environment for visiting teams to come into.  We don’t need Guinness and their possibly rigged decibel meter to prove it to us.  Ultimately we may break the record tomorrow night and we may not.  All I care about is whether we are walking out with a win.

“Hey Griswold. Where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big? Bend over and I’ll show you.”:  I can’t see that quote without thinking of Marshawn Lynch.  Beast Mode will be on the big stage yet again and I think we all remember what happened the last time the Saints came to town.  Unfortunately this time, Tracy Porter won’t be there to be stiff armed into next week (he’s in the NFL hell known as Oakland).  To state the obvious, Marshawn is going to be the biggest key to the Hawks ability to win this game.  If they can run the ball effectively, it keeps Drew Brees on the sidelines.  With the weather forecast, the Hawks passing game may have a little bit of trouble as well.  While the noise record thing bugs me to no end, I certainly wouldn’t mind trying to cause yet another seismic event.

“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”: The Seahawks have the great opportunity on Monday to leave the Saints for dead, at least as far as the #1 seed in the NFC is concerned.  Little has changed as far as the path to the #1 seed since the Hawks last played.  It’s still win your remaining home games and it’s yours.  I think we all know the best chance the Hawks will have to get to the Super Bowl is to have all their playoff games in the cozy confines of CenturyLink Field.  While Russell and company exorcised the demon of not being able to win playoff games on the road last year, I think we all would feel better if he was able to sleep in his own bed for the month of January.

“You want to hurry this up, Clark? I’m freezing my baguettes off.”: Sorry, sorry.  I got a little wordy today.  Here’s what we know.  You don’t come into Seattle and beat Russell Wilson.  The 12th Man is a force that is difficult, if not impossible, to reckon with.  National pundits prove yet again they don’t deserve the paychecks they’re getting, as many have picked the Saints to win.  This just feels like a team of destiny.  Forgive the Rudy reference, but no one, and I mean no one, comes into our house and pushes us around.

Seahawks 28, Saints 20