The Seattle Seahawks are going to have an interesting season, no doubt about it. I'm sure you can imagine some pretty weird scenarios for the year. Trust me, 12s, you can't outweird me. Remember, I'm the guy who predicted Eddie Lacy would be a great fit in Seattle. As it turns out, he could barely fit in the locker room.
To be fair to Lacy - well, not Lacy, but avoirdupois-advantaged individuals in general - his weight was a specific requirement for his job. Unlike my fat butt. So don't accuse me of bodyshaming, please. Or, go ahead if it makes you happy. I'll just eat another pack of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and smile.
So while that wasn't the most prescient prediction I've ever made, it wasn't exactly weird. And that, dear 12s, is why we're here today. Predicting that Jalen Milroe would take over as the Seahawks' backup quarterback by midseason may have been premature, but it wasn't weird. If I had written that Holton Ahlers would be the starting QB by midseason, now that would be weird. So let's dive into the weirdness.
Five weirdest predictions for the Seahawks 2025 season
A Seahawks defender wins ROY, but it isn't Nick Emmanwori
We all expect that Nick Emmanwori will have a major impact on the team this year. And odds are he will, along with Grey Zabel, Elijah Arroyo, Tory Horton, and Robbie Ouzts, among others. But you know what would really be weird? If either rookie Connor O'Toole or Jared Ivey forces their way off the practice squad and into the rotation as a situational player.
That's weird enough, right? Then both DeMarcus Lawrence and Uchenna Nwosu miss time - not so weird - and the rookie pass rusher wins the Defensive Rookie of the Year Award. Oh, it'll get weirder.
Darnold is injured in Week 5 and Drew Lock leads Seattle to a perfect season
I'm not sure if that's more delusional or laughable, but it sure would be weird. The part about Sam Darnold getting injured is sadly not delusional, nor is it laughable in the slightest. But Drew Lock, he of the spectacular four-TD game versus the Colts last year, and two TDs with five picks in his other four starts, leading the Seahawks to a perfect season? He might not even be on the team by Week 1.
Jay Harbaugh leads the special teams to the number one ranking in the league
Would that be weird, or simply impossible? Because they were bad last year, and it was literally painful to watch their performance in the final preseason game. Jake Bobo called for a fair catch and ran up to field it. Either he didn't call off teammate Tyler Hall, or Hall didn't hear him.
Either way, poor communication rests on special teams coach Jay Harbaugh's shoulders. And terrible special teams play is nothing we haven't seen before. And why is Bobo fielding a punt anyway? Harbaugh, leading any group to elite status? I need a show cause for that assertion.
The Allen Trust sells the Seahawks to a consortium of former players
As all good little 12s know, the Seahawks are owned by the Paul Allen Trust, administered by his sister, Jody Allen. Considering the moves Ms. Allen has made in the past, I don't think anyone is in a hurry to see her sell the team. She is selling the Portland Trail Blazers soon, so who knows?
In a shocker, Ms. Allen will announce during the bye week that she's selling the Seahawks to billionaires MacKenzie Scott and Howard Schultz, fronted by former players Doug Baldwin, Michael Bennett, and Marshawn Lynch. Allen then buys the Oklahoma City Thunder and brings them back to Seattle.
The new ownership group brings back Pete
The ownership group, Beastmode Inc. (what else), announces in 2026 that due to their intense love of the man, they are bringing Pete Carroll back to the Seahawks as President Emeritus and Director of Player Relations. He'll have no say over personnel, nor over the coaching staff. He'll just talk with the guys and make sure they're good.
Carroll will, however, be given 100 percent of the profits of the new Bubble Yum concession stands, which will be found throughout the stadium and the greater Seattle area. Just to, you know, sweeten the deal.
See 12s, you only thought things had gotten weird. I just can't wait for that first press conference with the new ownership group.