Seahawks sign another completely irrelevant free agent to zero acclaim

I get it, not every signee is going to be a future Hall of Fame player. I'd be embarrassed to release this news if I worked for the Seattle Seahawks. Thankfully, Seattle signed an actual impact player days later.

One of the Facebook Seahawks sites posted how exciting the Max Pilcher signing is, at least emphasizing his size and age. The real news is that the 12s are so desperate for an OL signing that this was news. Can you imagine announcing to the press - with a straight face - that you've signed another tackle when you have one guard with more than 101 snaps on the entire roster?

Pilcher has spent three years on practice squads and has zero snaps. A guy from the elite training ground of the International Player Pathway does nothing for the collective pulse rate.

Yep, two practice squads over two seasons. I'm all about players getting more chances, but this is just another International Player Pathway guy who won't amount to anything. I think there's one player in the league that's actually gotten any significant playing time, Mailata with the Eagles. 6'8", 365lbs. Now *that's* a monster. This dude Pilcher is an animated blocking sled, at best. It's time for the Hallelujah chorus, 12s. The Hawks finally signed a guard worthy of starting in the NFL.

Seattle Seahawks have made worse free agent signings than this

As irrelevant as the Pilcher signing was, getting guard Laken Tomlinson has the opposite effect. I'd like to think that the only reason John Schneider signed a quality guard was the near-incessant whining from us here that 12th Man Rising - but I'm not that goofy. He promised a couple of weeks ago that the Seahawks were entering the second phase of free agency. Who knew he wasn't just blowing smoke?

As for Mr. Pilcher, his friends, and his family, I'm not knocking him. It would be fantastic if he makes the team, even if it's just on the practice squad. It simply wasn't newsworthy, Yeah, I get the irony - I'm writing about it. But I'm only mentioning Pilcher to get to the true irrelevant free agent masterstrokes penned by the Seahawks.

Eddie Lacy, 2017

It's been a while since my semiannual mea culpa regarding the Rotund One, the King of the Weight Clause, Eddie Lacy. Yes, back in 2017, I wrote that Lacy would lead a three-headed running attack for the Hawks. To my credit, I did mention Chris Carson as an afterthought in the final paragraph. I guess when they said Roll Tide at Alabama, Lacy apparently was thinking of dinner rolls. Seattle paid him $3.4 million for his 226 yards from scrimmage. Not a great deal.

Luke Joeckel, 2017

Man, was this a great year for free agents or what? Joeckel came in the league to far more acclaim than Lacy, as he was the second pick overall in the 2013 draft. It was a really weird year, as the first skill player taken was Tavon Austin at number eight. Just a few players from the first round are of any interest. Suffice to say, Joeckel isn't one of them.

Drafted at left tackle by the Jaguars, he proved to be less than effective (97 pressures allowed in his only two full seasons in Jacksonville). A move to guard didn't help much, nor did the $7 million guaranteed money the Seahawks handed him. For that investment, they got the Pro Football Focus (subscription required) 71st-ranked guard in the league. That was Joeckel's last season in the NFL.

Ezekiel Ansah, 2019

Hey, at least the Hawks took a year off to recuperate from 2017. Ziggy Ansah wasn't quite as much of a cipher at defensive end as Joeckel was at guard, but he wasn't much better, either. Unlike Joeckel, Ansah showed his value earlier in his career. He made the Pro Bowl in 2015 and followed that with 12.5 sacks in 2017. His production fell dramatically in 2016 and 2018, so perhaps the Hawks believed he was an odd-year performer.

That's a weird thing to believe, and it didn't pan out for Ansah. He dropped to just 2.5 sacks and 10 pressures in 11 games, while PFF ranked him 137th among all edge players that year. Gee, all that production for $9.0 million. Even the sadly forgotten Shaquem Griffin outperformed him on a per-snap basis. Hey, at least Ziggy was better than L.J. Collier.

Matt Flynn, 2012

Now if I was writing about the worst FA acquisitions made by Seattle, Flynn wouldn't even be a blip on the radar. Okay, he'd ping a few times, but that would be it. Unlike Joeckel and Ansah, it's hard to say he cost the Hawks any games. That's because John Schneider and Pete Carroll drafted an undersized QB out of Wisconsin in the third round that same year. Russell Somebody; he's kicked around the league for a couple of years now.

On the strength of five appearances in Green Bay the previous year with one start, Seattle handed Flynn a three-year deal worth $19.5 million. Granted, he was fantastic in his one start as he threw for 480 yards and six touchdowns. That one game created his market. He only got into three games on mop-up duty for the Hawks, "helping" Seattle win 58-0, 50-17, and 42-13. Thankfully the Hawks were able to unload him to the Raiders the following year and were "only" out $8.0 million.

So maybe in the grand scheme of things, it isn't so bad to spend a little dough - probably $750K - on a guy who'll just see the practice squad. It's not like the hopes for this season rest on Max Pilcher's shoulders.

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