Twenty Things to do Before the Seahawks Start Training Camp


Like many of you, I am suffering from pre-training camp depression and am also often at a loss for things to write about.  So I decided to make a list of activities that would help kill time for the next month or so.  Feel free to add your suggestions in the comments section and enjoy.

  1. Make every single one of these.
  2. Write a thesis paper on why the economic model used by the NFL should be used by the whole world.
  3. Patch the Tarvaris Jackson inspired holes in my wall created during last season.
  4. Put foam padding on objects routinely thrown in anger and celebration during games.
  5. Bake cookies, deliver, and ask for forgiveness from neighbors offended by obscenities yelled during last season.
  6. Sound-proof doors, windows, and basically entire apartment to prevent future offending.
  7. Brew enough beer to last through season.
  8. Make enough jerkey (of various sorts) to last through season.
  9. Learn meditation and proper anger management methods to be used during games.
  10. Learn flower arrangement.
  11. Assemble shrine to the 12th Man and Pete Carroll/John Schneider; both of which may or may not be desecrated and rebuilt many times during the season.
  12. Order new 12th Man flag to replace one that was lost during a storm.
  13. Prepare Christmas cards to be air-dropped on San Francisco after the Seahawks beat the Niners in prime time in October.
  14. Preemptively apologize for all false promises made, and consequently not kept, to a variety of deities and sky-gods during tense and critical moments of a game.
  15. Teach my dog to do this. (Also yet another reason dogs are better than cats.)
  16. Read all the books I intend to read during the season but know I will never get around to.
  17. Catch up on season two of Boardwalk Empire and Tremé.
  18. Watch all previous seasons of Breaking Bad in preparation for the final season.
  19. Create a liquid form of Skittles to be mainlined when Beast Mode takes place.
  20. Decide whose jersey to get when I am in Seattle in August.