Seahawks vs. Cardinals: Things that will definitely not happen Thursday

The Seahawks take on the Arizona Cardinals on Thursday. Seattle is 5-3 (I know, they should easily be 6-2). Arizona is 4-4. Here are some things that will not happen.

Seahawks versus Cardinals. Interesting rivalry. Arizona leads the head-to-head matchup 18-17-1. That one tie was exciting, right? No. It was not. We 12s all watched it last year. It was horrible.

So, besides all the more serious things like, Here’s what’s going to happen. Predictions. Blah blah blah. Here is a list of things that will not occur on Thursday.

Not occurring in this lifetime on this Thursday

Cardinals quarterback Carson Palmer will not play. Poor Palmer. He has been saddled with a reputation for being hurt often. This is not actually the truth. Look at his stats. (I will wait while you check.) Ok. Welcome back. See what I mean? Relatively healthy. But misses important time. Like Thursday.

Eddie Lacy will not play. He is dealing with a groin issue and is out. Did I mention Lacy is on a one-year deal in Seattle? Oh. I didn’t? Well, he won’t get a second year. #ChrisCarsonReturns2018

Marshawn Lynch will not do this…

And if we were all honest, we Seahawks fans miss Marshawn. Those were golden years and helped formed the identity of Seattle. Would he have more yards than Carson this year? No. But dammit, he was our BeastMode and always will be.

Russell Wilson won’t throw for 800 yards. Because no one else ever has.

Chris Carson. I know, right? Back to this guy. He won’t play. But the Cardinals will have to deal with him the next several years. Because the Seahawks aren’t going away and neither is Carson.

Related Story: Seahawks vs. Cardinals: Staff predictions

Go Hawks!