Here's a mock first round the Seahawks will never draft

Yes dear 12s, it's time for the endless parade of mock drafts. I'll have my own summary of the 50 - yes, that's right, f-i-f-t-y - mock drafts I ran for our beloved Seahawks soon enough. But for now, I'd like to mock what has to be the most ludicrous mock draft I've ever seen. Yes, I hear your grumbling about that line. If you think that was bad, wait till you read this draft.

Someday, the NFL will fold in favor of the National Pickleball League. The United States will elect a transgender Vladimir Putin impersonator as President. The Sun will expand into a red giant and engulf the Earth. None of these are likely to happen - okay, the last one definitely will, but we've got about five billion years to get off the planet. Regardless, they'll all happen before the Seahawks make these two selections in the first round of the 2023 NFL draft. Yes, that's how ludicrous these picks are.

Allow me to link to the offending article. If I don't, you're just going to assume I got caught up in a roadshow of Requiem for a Dream and took things too far. Before I discuss the sheer inanity of the selections mocked for the Seahawks, I have to say that a lot of his picks are absolutely bizarre. Okay, without further adieu I present the travesty of Will Brinson's mock draft.

A mockery of a Seahawks 2023 NFL draft first round

After predicting both the Texans and Colts pass on quarterbacks at numbers two and four, Brinson selects: wait a minute. Let's be sure you're up to date on the Seahawks' draft needs. The Hawks re-signed Geno Smith, so they're set at QB. Granted, they could still go that route if a generational talent is available. They also signed a pair of tackles last year with Charles Cross and Abe Lucas that should be fixtures for the next decade. The Seahawks need help on the interior defensive line and an edge rusher. Then a wide receiver, linebacker, guard, and cornerback is in no particular order.

So who does Brinson have the Hawks pick at number five? Tackle Peter Skoronski. That's offensive tackle, by the way. His reasoning is that they need a guard - true - and they can move Skoronski over. Well, yes, but they could also draft an actual guard in Florida's O'Cyrus Torrence. He's the top guard in the draft, and he's almost certainly going to be available at pick 20 if the Hawks really want to prioritize the position. Oh, and he never allowed one sack in four years of college ball. I'm not saying Skoronski isn't good; he's very good. But saying he's a fit for Seattle at that draft slot is practically criminal.

Speaking of criminal acts, the insanity in this mock draft continues as the Seahawks again ignore their greatest need - the defense. With the 17th pick overall - yes, they actually trade up to get him - Seattle selects quarterback Will Levis. Now, we've talked about the slide of Levis on our podcast. Will Levis isn't close to a generational talent. Brinson writes that Levis has "some Josh Allen traits." Sure, like wearing a helmet and cleats.

The true absurdity is that in his own draft, the Hawks could have selected either Tyree Wilson or Charles Murphy at number five. They're only the top two pass rushers not named Will Anderson. Or if they want a quarterback, Anthony Richardson would be there too. He's a reach at five, but not nearly as much as Skoronski. Without the needless trade, Seattle could then select Lukas Van Ness, who Brinson has going to the Steelers with the Seahawks 20th pick. Madness, I tell you.

If the Hawks sensibly take a pass rusher at five and stay at 20 they could then select a wide receiver, as Jaylin Hyatt, Josh Downs, Jaxon Smith-Njigba, and Jordan Addison are all slotted between picks 21 and 29. If they want a QB, Hendon Hooker will be available. If they want a defensive tackle, Brian Bressee and Keion White are slotted back to back at 30 and 31. Rather than trade up, Seattle could trade back and address their actual needs. Madness, I tell you.

Now, I don't claim to be a draftnik. Heck, I'm not a nik of any kind. But one thing I won't do in my mock draft is ignore what the Seahawks actually need to add to the team. I won't project them drafting a tackle just to move him to guard when there's a better guard available later in the draft. I won't predict them trading up to get a quarterback who shouldn't be drafted until the second round, if then. More to the point, I can't see the Seahawks doing anything this stupid, either.