3 studs and duds from the Seahawks Week 1 to the Rams

Sorry about the typo, 12s. That headline should read "30 duds, maybe one stud" after the Seahawks disastrous second-half performance versus the Rams. However, I am contractually limited to three. Time to get creative!

I don't know about you, 12s, but the meds I took after that season opener are just beginning to wear off. My doctor prescribed Long Island Iced Teas by the gallon. It seemed to help, but unfortunately, it had no effect on the Seahawks themselves. Although I wouldn't be a bit surprised if a few players sought out similar prescriptions. Man, that was ugly.

Yes, we've dissected the corpse of this contest several times from several angles. Please note I am referring to autopsies of one game, not the Seahawks themselves. One bad game - one bad half at that - does not a season make. We've graded their performance - spoiler alert, it wasn't good - and taken a long critical look at the game. And yes, it was certainly critical.

Seahawks did manage to provide one stud among the duds

I'll save that one semi-miraculous stud for the end. Something of a palate cleanser, so you can at least have one happy moment, one fond memory to bring you the smallest sliver of light in the gloom. You're not buying it, I get it. Listen 12s, I'm not exactly thrilled about the outcome either. The offense tanked in the second half, the defense tanked in the second half, the coaching tanked in the second half - it wasn't good, not at all.

Okay, let's rip off the Band-aid and get to it. There are just so many candidates for duds, I feel like a kid in a candy store - and all the treats are licorice candy corn. There, let's see you get that image out of your head. Gee, I could go with Dre'Mont Jones, the $51 million dollar man who contributed precisely two assists and zero pressures. Or maybe I'll go with Jake Curhan, who allowed four pressures on just fifteen snaps.

Nah, I have to go with the two-headed monster at cornerback: TreMichael Brown-Jackson. Tre Brown won the starting nod after Mike Jack looked absolutely putrid in all three preseason games. Whatever happened to Jackson, it must have been contagious, because they were both terrible against the Rams. Brown was in for 61 snaps, Jackson for 21. Brown allowed three catches on four targets, Jackson allowed the catch on his only target. Brown's passer rating allowed was 116.7, Jackson's 118.8. All stats are from Pro Football Focus (paywalled site, sorry 12s). More than anything, they failed the eye test. Every single play, they were trailing the Rams receivers. Can Spoon please come out to play?